Haven’t rapped here for a while. I’ve been fairly busy with issues relating to mortality, academics, existentialism, and the continuing pressure of holding multiple world-views at the same time, of which only the euphoric but slippery one I actually like. Of course there were other things like coffee that I spent time thinking about, but those minor issues didn’t really stand in my way. Sometimes there were passwords too. Moving on.
A few weeks ago my shrink told me that I have to take care of myself. She didn’t mean that in the mobster sense, which would be counterproductive, but rather the opposite; that things like eating, sleeping, and exercising should take precedence over activities like studying vocabulary, going to Jazz Night at the Mary Lou Room, and ogling insecure high-school girls.
One of the funny things was that even though I knew these were habits that needed to be changed, I didn’t really feel any impetus to do so until it was demanded of me by an outside force. I started asking myself, “What would Virginia want me to do?”, and that made me strong…first annoyed because her name would remind me of her annoying habits….but then, then I was strengthened.
When I do take care of myself, there are noticeable turnarounds in characteristics like memory, energy, rouse-ability*, and the heightened ability to smell watermelons. However, when I start to lag, all of these bonuses fall by the wayside, and are replaced by darker skills such as improved morose introspection, compassion for un-quaffed alcohol, keener fault-awareness, and necromancy.
I’d like to think that I am in complete control of my rational capacities, but it’s finally time to admit that the person I am depends a great deal on time-management as well as burritos, prince-filled queen-sized beds**, and push-ups. I cannot express how lame I find this. Probably as lame as this guy.
Sorry to end on a lame note, but sometimes the lameness of a situation cannot be helped. Just ask a horse doctor. As my freshman roommate would say, keep on keepin’ on.
-Lee



*That means waking up faster, sicko.
**Sigh