There was a period of time, maybe a year ago, when I was fond of describing myself as a self-indulgent emoter. This phrase came to me at some point wile I was driving and searching vainly on the radio for some tune that could elicit an emotional response. ...

Wait. Hold on. I feel that rather than focus again on some minor idiosyncrasy of mine and the small lesson I learned from it, I would be doing my readers a disservice to ignore the main political and cultural issue currently gripping everyone’s attention. I am, of course, referring to the final Harry Potter book.

Oh my God, have you ever been more excited for anything in your whole life!? It’s supposed to be so good, my church is encouraging the use of “Potter-stinence”, or if absolutely necessary, at least “Potter-ceptives”, to limit the amount of sinful pleasure one is sure to derive from reading this long-awaited final installment. I’ve ignored both of these warnings and plunged into the 759 page epic that will be sure to answer the following questions: Will Lord V- (sorry) You-Know-Who finally be defeated? What will be the ultimate fate of the trio? Does a children’s novel really have the power to turn impressionable readers into agents of Satan? Only time and my new school will tell!

Sorry, have to go finish!