As you would probably guess had you cared, my lack of entries has been attributable to academic demands. These requirements taper somewhat during the summer, so you can look forward to more consistent blatherings. Since I already bore Friend, my parents, and catatonic homeless people with school-related details of my life, I’ll spare the rest of you. Instead I’ll focus my comeback entry on my favorite topic: me. This is also fitting in that it falls at the time of year when I write my annual update. Like those letters you get around Christmas time in ominously large envelopes, dealing with Billy’s recovering broken arm, Aunt Christie’s thoughts about going back to school, and how the last time anyone saw 17 year-old Kelly she was working a strip-club in Gatlinberg. As before, I’ve broken my life into arbitrary categories.

Exercise habits: Run every other day, push-ups/sit-ups on the off days. I didn’t do so hot this winter with running, but am getting back into it. I can’t tell you how much I enjoy jogging through a forest filled with blooming wysteria and honeysuckle. But I just did. Paradox!

Dog petting: I’ve had ample practice in this art, as both my roommate and Friend have dogs. I’ve created a number of petting categories, which include the following: Standard pet, belly rub, pile-driver pet, craniofacial pet, fake pet, attack pet, intercontinental ballistic attack pet. These are enjoyed at various levels by the canines in question (pictured).

Being awesome: Increased in all categories as a result of a loving Friend, success at school, and broad-spectrum modulation of neurotransmission. In this category I could also add that if you think you are arrogant, you probably are. Just saying.

Personal philosophies by category:
Science: If it’s one or the other, it’s both.
Politics: If we haven’t gotten it right in 5000 years of democracy, whatever happens is probably not a matter of who gets elected. Turd Sandwich ’08!
Life: Pretty much everything is the same.

Shoes by category:
Sandals: 1 pair Tevas
Dress: 1 pair brown, 1 pair black. Unpolished.
Running: Adidas, size 12. 5th pair.
Casual/cool: 1 pair brown Steve Madden’s, 1 pair black Chuck Taylor’s. Laces tucked!
Slippers: 1 pair hand-knit, felted. Holes in toes.

Legality: For the first time since I moved to NC, both my car and I are fully legal residents of this fi-…uhh, state. This provides me with lower tuition for my boss to cover, and protection against getting pulled-over above and beyond being white and generally professional-looking.


Happy spring, everyone!